The Lovers rarely are about relationship, but rather about balancing oneself.
Balancing the 'male' and 'female' aspects of ourself.
One could also say right and left brain's activities. Or a healthy balance of intuition and ratio. Action and let-happen.
It tells of a way to reach that inner source of true love that is inside us all, the only love that really nourishes. The source that we need to access, so that we become able to share our love with other beings in the world.
So I read them as a hint that we might need to balance ourself, thus gaining access to our inner self, which knows exactly how to get us and keep us on our way.
I don’t believe in the definitions of female = passive, receiving, nurturing, ituitive etc.pp.; and male = active, creating, aggressive, rational etc.pp.
All those qualities are available to all of us; in different quantities which depend on character, upbringing, society etc.
And even though there is some biological truth in the definition of the sexes, most of it comes from social stereotypes which are programmed into us. Believing in them, trying to follow their parameters, limits us in our development towards our True Self. It is limiting both women and men.
Still, in this card, The Lovers, the stereotypes are used: as Symbols, and as such they work very well. But they are not meant as blueprints for real people. All three, Angel, Female and Male are part of the Whole that is us.